The Evening Drive

This post is 0% advice, and 100% reassurance that you're not a terrible parent.

We've started a new routine, and it's simply wonderful.

It most certainly wouldn't feature in any parenting textbooks, nor would we advise it unless absolutely necessary because it's not cheap by any means.

We've started driving the kids to sleep every night.

Yup. Every night, after bath time, we wrestle the now-running-amok overexcited kids into their pajamas, brush their teeth, then strap them into their car seats and head boldly out into the country lanes that wind their way through the beautiful fields behind our village.

Now depending on the day we've had and how terrible the previous night was, then between fifteen and forty minutes later, they're all soundly asleep in their car seats, and we simply carry them up to their beds and then collapse on the sofa.

Yes - it sometimes takes forty minutes of driving.

Why on earth we've resorted to this

As you might have gathered from reading our previous posts, our children don't seem to follow the old guide book when it comes to sleep, and so far nothing anyone has ever suggested has worked.

We've tried everything:

• Gentle music
• Loud music
• Audiobooks
• White noise
• Complete silence (lasted eight seconds)
• Unlimited reading time
• Limited reading time
• No reading time
• Dark room
• Light room
• Night light
• Spot light
• Flood light
• Daylight
• No water at bed time
• Water at bed time
• Long bath
• Short bath
• No bath
• Pajamas
• No pajamas
• Hypnosis (extremely effective on us, no effect on the kids)

You get the picture.

Whatever tactic we've attempted to employ, the kids are just too interested and alert to close their eyes and go to sleep, so they end up getting out of bed, kicking the wall, winding each other up and generally getting overexcited.

If it's been suggested in any form of parenting manual, blog post, facebook group or subreddit, we've tried it somewhere along our desparate crusade to get the kids to finally nod off, and it hasn't helped one jot.

They just can't switch their brains off

We'd assumed we were just being terrible parents and overexciting our kids before bed, until we read a whole bunch of literature about how gifted kids often struggle switching their overactive minds off and allowing themselves to sleep.

This reassured us a little that it wasn't entirely our fault, but did nothing to make the evening battle any easier.

Then one day, we decided 'sod it' and bunged them in the car, simply because we just couldn't face another evening of hours wasted trying to get them to stay in their beds, be quiet, stop hitting the wall, put the book down, close your eyes, stop laughing etc.

Fifteen minutes after we set off they were all asleep, and we looked at each other in complete disbelief - why haven't we been doing this for the last two years?!

We carried them up to bed where they remained asleep, and sat on the couch feeling like we'd just won the lottery.

Benefits of our new method:

• It's a period of enforced immobility that is neither illegal nor unpleasant for the child. Our kids keep themselves awake by moving and thrashing around in the bed, so being physically still in the car seat allows their overactive brain to finally switch off.
• It's rather enjoyable for us cruising quietly along some smooth and usually empty country lanes, listening to some music and feeling like everything is going to be okay.
• It is vastly more tolerable as an experience, than lying in a dark room attempting to repeatedly shepherd three young children back into bed without losing our temper.
• While one of us is out driving, the other can make a start on reassembling the house after a day of destruction, meaning that once they're finally asleep, there's not quite so much cleaning to do before we ourselves can go to bed.

Downsides:

• Cost and environmental impact of driving
• err - that's it

It would be lovely to be able to follow the ubiquitous guidance spewed out by every well-meaning parenting expert, blogger and pyschologist, and do the whole 'gentle, slow evening routine' thing where you get them settled into their beds and calmly keep them there until they fall asleep.

But it just doesn't bloody work for our three high intensity kids who can't seem to switch their brains off.

We're just glad we've found something that works.

Just go with it

There's no one right way to do things.

It might seem like other parents know the 'right' way to do things, and will often enjoy spouting off about how well their child sleeps because of their carefully curated evening routine, but the reality is - every child is different, and you just have to find what works for you.

So for now, we're enjoying our gentle potter around the countryside, and if you're in the same position as us - maybe give it a try?